Two days before Purim is a thrilling day that Israeli kids mark off on their calendars long in advance: it is costume day! Everyone comes in costume to school, which morphs into a Purim carnival. It’s no exaggeration to say that for many kids this is the most exciting day of the year. That day, this year, was supposed to be Sunday, March 1, and of course it got canceled. As a school psychologist, I saw and shared numerous messages that gave guidance to teachers and parents on how to handle the kids’ inevitable disappointment, along with their general anxiety about the war.
Yes, we exhibited calmness, stability, clear age-appropriate communication and other important psychological elements toward helping children process disappointment and feel secure.
Our family is also extremely blessed that my wife’s siblings and their children live down the street, with whom we spent the entire Shabbat day, giving our kids natural playmates. We are also blessed with a safe room big eough for all of us to sleep in (with not a square inch of floor to spare), so that we did not need to wake up again and again to take shelter when the nighttime sirens blared.
Yet, I believe a brief talk I had with my two oldest kids (aged eight and six) before bedtime Saturday night was equally impactful in shaping the calm and happy attitude which they have exhibited the past few days.
“A war with Iran started today, and it’s really disappointing that there won’t be costume day and the Purim carnival tomorrow,” I began. “But do you know why the war started specifically today?”
In a state of wonder myself, I proceeded to tell them about the utterly miraculous circumstances of the initial attack Shabbat morning. As Shanaka Perera writes, “Israel did not randomly bomb Iran. They waited for Iran’s entire leadership to sit down in the same room and then they bombed Iran.
“Months of intelligence. Thousands of hours of surveillance and signal intercepts. One variable: the moment the Supreme Leader, the President, and senior military command gathered in a single location at the same time.
“That moment was 8:15 this morning. Israel attacked in broad daylight because the target was not infrastructure. The target was a meeting.”
What Perera does not write, but what I added, is that Shabbat morning was Shabbat Zachor, the day that Jews around the world remember how the murderous Amalekite people attacked the Israelite women and children while we wandered the desert. The IDF is supremely diligent and capable in its war preparations, but the onset of the war was dictated by a variable strictly in
G-d’s hands — when the Iranian leadership met. G-d decided that it would be on Shabbat Zachor!
Shabbat Zachor actually consists of three separate commandments: 1.) To remember Amalek’s genocidal acts; 2.) Not to forget Amalek’s genocidal acts; 3.) To wipe out the remnant of Amalek (more on this below).
On a regular year, we fulfill the first two commandments, but this year we fulfilled the third as well, on the very day of Shabbat Zachor! It is always on the Shabbat immediately preceding Purim, the day on which we celebrate Haman’s death in ancient Persia and the subsequent nullification of his genocidal intentions. And here we were, with an attack in the heart of Iran — modern-day Persia — assassinating Khamenei, the modern-day genocidal Haman.
Fighting defensive wars in the IDF and going to shelters are physical efforts mandated by Jewish law — but it is G-d who ultimately decides our fate. Sometimes it is difficult to see G-d’s hand in history, but lately it has been hard not to see G-d’s hand in history. The miracles are of Biblical proportions, not least of which is the loss of zero Israeli life while decapitating the entire Syrian and Iranian armies (as of this writing; may it continue, G-d willing).
Back to Amalek. I have long been bothered by the moral quandary that underlies the command of wiping out Amalek. Isn’t that genocide? Are we no better than our enemies who wish to and attempt to wipe us out? I’ve tried working through this moral issue philosophically and theologically, but it is the practicality of this war the past few days which has finally given me clarity and equanimity.
How so? First, note a fundamental difference between the wars with Iran and its proxy, Hamas. People wonder, how could the IDF be so quick, powerful, and successful against Iran, yet drag and drag against Hamas? Two critical factors have been the hostage dilemma and Gaza’s immediate geographic proximity. Equally critical is that Hamas turned virtually all of Gaza into human shields, necessitating slow, messy, tragic urban warfare. Iran, on the other hand, for all of its evil intentions, operates like a normal country. It has proper military bases and demarcated government structures located apart from civilian locations.
Thus, we see Israel decimating the military and political installations of the IRGC (Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps) in Iran. Is Israel attacking Iranian people writ large? No. Is Israel attacking Muslims writ large? No. Is Israel attacking people of Persian ethnicity writ large? No. The common denominator across those attacked by Israel is this: they are people or countries who expressed murderous intentions and actions against Israel and the Jewish people. Perhaps that is what the fulfillment of the commandment is to desroy Amalek is meant to look like: destroy those whose leaders engage in genocidal tactics against the Jewish people, yet spare the others. Granted, the inclusion of children in the commandment demands its own understanding; that remains beyond the scope of this column.
Many prominent rabbinic authorities maintain that the commandment to destroy Amalek refers not to Amalekites as a people, but to any people that adopt the genocidal ideology of Amalek against Jews. Perhaps I am just restating that theological approach in different words, but seeing it play out before my eyes provides clarity anew.
While I spared my kids the philosophical thoughts on Amalek, the rest of what I said gave them critical context. They started asking a number of questions, and I noticed a visible change in temperament and energy as they internalized, on their own level, that we are living through miraculous history.
Of course, when we found out the next morning that there would be a costume party in the local park (within 90 seconds of a shelter!) with cotton candy and slushies, their positive energy shot up even further.
Watching kids have a costume party at the park during a war, shortly after hearing about the horrific Iranian attack on Bet Shemesh, was surreal. War is painful, and we somehow make room in our hearts for conflicting emotions. But looking at the neighborhood kids in costume — many of whose fathers were just called up by the IDF — celebrating with their treats and friends, was to sit in the front row seat of Jewish history. How grateful I am to be here for it all.
© IJN 2026